My father doesn t listen to me

"Do not 'spank,' 'pop,' 'tap,' or any other cutesy synonym of abuse. There are a ton of ways to discipline your child that dont involve hitting them. Spanking is the laziest and most damaging form of discipline." Rande K

"Scapegoats get over punished for the small things they do wrong and even get punished or criticized when they do the right thing. Tactfulness is twisted into gullibility in the scapegoat. The golden child literally gets away with murder." theresal419ade210

"Telling a child, 'Don't be shy' or 'Don't cry' or the like. You cannot order a child not to have emotions, and you absolutely shouldn't try all that does is teach them that you don't think their feelings are valid and makes them feel bad about themselves." emmak26

"It always bugged me that my mom would share EVERYTHING with my dad... especially as a pre-teen. I was much closer to my mom than my dad, and while my mom always completely understood me and never judged, my dad was [and still is] very closed-minded and judgmental. So when I thought I was having a mother-daughter moment about my feelings in confidence, she would later share it all with my dad. The next day, he would come to me and scold me and make me feel like crap for having feelings. I very quickly stopped opening up to my mom. Anything regarding health and safety, any major issues with school, friends, etc., or anything happy that deserves to be celebrated yes, absolutely share that with your co-parent. But realize there are some things your child wants to keep private between the two of you."TrilingualMom

"If you're regularly telling your child[ren] that they exhaust you, that they're the reason you don't get any sleep/vacation/alone time, WHATEVER, then you're out of pocket. They did not ask for you to raise them. Don't make your burden their burden. To be clear, I am not saying that you're not allowed to be tired or overwhelmed! I am saying manage yourself, model what it means to respond to your own discomfort." rads4135

"You know what really bugs me, and I see it all the time? When people call their kids 'assholes.' Kids throw tantrums, they test boundaries, and they have bad days. It doesn't mean they're assholes. They're learning, and all those things are developmental."Laura

"Not caring about privacy. My moms motto is 'If you are younger than 18 years old, you have no privacy.' I was never allowed to have my phone in my room, not allowed to go on a video call in my room alone, Id have to go in the backyard or stay in the house, my parents would constantly check my phone, I could never have my phone while using the restroom, and I had to charge my phone in the living room with everyone there to see." sarah_lawrance777

"Accusing your kid of faking illness or pain. Even if you suspect they're just trying to get out of school, why is school so bad that they're doing that? Psychosomatic symptoms are still real symptoms. If they say they have a stomachache and you think it's from stress, don't insist that the stomachache isn't real. It is real, and you're teaching them that when there is a problem, no one wants to listen, and no one cares. Dismissing them or telling them 'everyone has that' is harmful and exceptionally dangerous." alanamuir

"Dont forbid/discourage your daughter from dating, even if youre trying to protect them from predators or heartbreak. It only leads to them dating behind your back, especially with 'bad' guys. So if anything serious happens, you wont know where she is or who shes with, and she certainly wont tell you if anything happens. Its also just a really toxic thing to do. Instead, teach her consent and how to stay safe if youre concerned." ashtree

"Omg parents and relatives need to stop commenting on childrens weight. My family was notorious to always tell me how chubby I was getting and always made comments on what I was eating and how much."princessT86

"If your child tells you they're uncomfortable with doing something, back off and respect that boundary. Ive always been uncomfortable around small kids, but my mom loves them and once let a baby stay at our house while the mom tried to get back on her feet. What followed was the mom flaking out on the baby, and with my mom at work and dad working around the house, I was left to babysit when I knew nothing about how to take care of small kids." PinkPrincess88

"Don't brush off your child's interests/feelings/struggles as 'just a phase' or 'just for attention.' My mom brushed off and ignored my gender and sexuality for years, and to this day my dad refuses to accept I have multiple disabilities, and both of those things impact me negatively to this day. Not to mention all the interests and hobbies I had that never went anywhere because I was discouraged from them because 'you'll be bored of it in a week; there's no reason for me to make this a big deal.'" ghcstxbcy

"I grew up with this toxic family thing, where if a girl gets her period, everyone in my big-ass family will be notified about it, and the males all made stupid jokes about it."Shay

"I definitely grew up in a household that one parent took out all their childhood abuse on us, and as an adult, I have horrible anxiety issues and battled horrible self-esteem. I've been the submissive one in horrible relationships and always put up with the same shit my other parent did. Still affects me and whenever I've tried to approach the subject of childhood stuff I'm automatically accused of blaming them as bad parents when I just wanted to talk about it. Still taboo in my fam for 20-plus years..."ypetocchirn

"Another toxic thing parents do is they treat things like race and being LGBTQ like forbidden subjects. By not telling your kids that being LGBTQIAP is OK, youre telling them that straight is the norm and that everything else is shameful. It really hurts LGBTQ kids in the long run. I am questioning my sexuality [I think I might be bi], and I cant shake the feeling that something is wrong with me because my parents censored all LGBTQ content when I was younger. And not talking about race causes kids to pick up on racist stereotypes and racist attitudes because they dont know any better. It causes kids of color to internalize the stuff they hear, which impacts them negatively in the long run."Katherine

"I'm surprised no one mentioned never saying, 'I love you.' During and immediately after my parents' divorce, that was a huge part of them taking care of and kinda reconnecting with my brothers and me. Of course, we knew it, but it's nice to hear it out loud too."P1nkL3m0n4d3

"My parents were always OK with us smoking weed [we live in Colorado], but anytime anything else was mentioned theyd say, 'Thats OK, I dont want to hear about it.' Cut to years later when I ended up in emergency care because of an MDMA 'overdose.' I never told my parents the truth until my doctor ratted me out, completely breaking confidentiality, to my parents months later. They werent mad I had done drugs; they were mad I lied to them about it. And I told them why I didnt tell them the truth: 'I didnt think you would want to hear about it.' They realized they had maybe fucked up, and it was their fault, too, that I hadnt told them." monster

"All being overprotective does is teaches your kids how to lie. I lost count of how many times my friend's mums were 'coming round the shops with us' rather than just giving us a lift into town. This went on till I was at least 15, and then my mum was surprised that I wanted to go on holiday on my own as much as I did when I turned 18. Though now I realize that might also be because I like my own company."kathryna456a720b8

"Even if your kid had nothing to do with it, if you come home enough times in a bad mood where youre slamming doors and snapping over little things, they will remember that. They will remember how you treated them when you had a bad day. The reason youre upset probably isnt about them, but it will feel like it. This will cause anxiety issues in the future."madelynf487f41e0c

"Comparing your kids to other children." sinclair1022